reality tv round up monday 6/18

so yeah, i watch too much tv and i should be working on my book (that you all will be buying this fall, right?) but i figure i watch so that you dont have too. and tonight started slow, but ended as a great one.....

up first: Wife Swap
same as usual, wife moved in with new family, is appauled at what she finds. rules change comes- drama ensues.. everyone makes up and is loving and happy until the parents meet @ the end and act up.

new this week: dad of the out of control family spends the whole second week crying and the 'rule with the iron fist' mother has nails that would make the ghetto-ist stripper say "HAWT DAUM! you need to cut them shits and get a fill"
overall, the best part of the whole last 30 minutes that i saw was the "boom shaka whaa whaa" axe body spray commercial with the black chick booty shakin for the produce guy all over the apples. i'll post it if i can find it- it rivals the berries and cream commercial that entertained me all afternoon.


next: the Ex Wives Club
first time ever seeing this show and i must say- HILARITY! marla maples (donald trumps 2nd ex wife) shar jackson (from moesha and k-fed baby mama) and angie everhart (ashely hamiltons ex wife and sly stallones ex fiance) get together and help women deal with a failed marriage. seems like it could be helpful for folks, right? but honestly, its just funny as shit to me.

why you ask? the hosts.... marla got her man by being the mistress and fuckin up the first wives spot, and of course, chose 'the hair' as a mate. angie cant even make it a year WHEN she gets down the isle. her taste in men: rocky post set in of the down syndrome and someone i dont know if i recognize or not- isnt he the oompa loompa tan guy? and shar.... well that bitch aint even get a ring and got left by the poster child for corny, trailer park fools everywhere for an 'alleged' meth addict- nuff said

anyway...boring overall, but i stayed watching to see the chicks blow up a boat (damn i want to do that too) and shar stalk the ex husband....i'm going to need one more episode to decide if i will waste my life with this show


and finally: Making the Band 4
Pulled my night out the shitter....Why is the little asian boy (Sam) from Fairfax my early favorite? AND he SANG- luther at that... can you woo woo woo for me little dim sum man?!!?? too bad he cant dance and goes home for not fitting 'da band' profile. and the church boy from orlando (Julius) yeah, i'ma need him not to make me catch the Holy Ghost all while knowing puff dragon is going to chew him up and spit him out... i LIKE him- but the cryin got to stop- MAN UP BABY BOY!... and of course, there are a few guys to snaps short of a full tank of splenda, i'm thinking the really good dancer/singer white boy- Dan- may be one of them- tho undercover. and deAngelo- yeah i'm worried that he slides to the side too- but i need more of him to be sure...... and the token fat boy, Michael- that i'm pullin for, but alas, i think hes going to go the way of my pudgy fav from the first danity kane season, Dominique. overall, looks like it will be a good season, as long as there are some fights. guys arent as good for the petty cat fights that make good tv like the chicks, man. but from the previews, it looks like they may just pull that one out for me.

and i do have some questions:
-is this ahnk rahs first season with them or did i miss the ears the first time... brother know his shit, but damn it if be dont make fresh prince look normal. (sexy as he may be- y'all know will could play dumbo in the stage play without wardrobe)
-does puff dragon fire lori ann? ohh ohh ohh drama... LMAO @ him telling her she talk too much and to shut the fuck up. i love my girl- but damn it have been waiting YEARS to hear that lol

suggestions:
-dont make these boys cry... we'll lose respect and from the past history of mtb in record sales, y'all need all the help you can get!
-last suggestion: can we NOT play my signature "jaz need to get up on a stripper pole" song during eliminations? i'm trying to pay attention and learn names and shit and they are making it hard when i hear jeezy break out with "we got hundreds on the table, fifties on the floor.....AND I LUV IT"... i mean really how is a chick supposed to not drop it like its hot & make it clap and pay attention when that shit comes on? help me help your ratings puff-dont make me pull out the stripper alter ego during key moments of the show.


until next time.............

you make me better

i'm a movement by myself, but i'm a force when we're together


and you betta believe that shit lol.. anyway... i'm feeling this song so much right now, just had to give you my thoughts.

first things first... why is it that more people don't subscribe to this mantra? (i admit i'm guilty of this in the past as well) why would any logical person get with someone that cant better them in some way? oh yea, most of us aren't logical lol... but really- i don't mean money (tho if that's your thing, do you) but overall... why be with someone that can't help you be that force?

you see it everyday...people in relationships (be it an actual relationship, a friendship, a kinship,etc) with people that are nothing but toxic to them. always bringing out the worst qualities, but they hang on like the world will stop spinning if they let go. what is it? comfort? familiarity? sex? no way out? not wanting to be rude? and the person in question is very obviously unhappy, unrepresented, stifled....

FOR WHAT?

there's nothing wrong with demanding that the people in your life compliment you and your mission in life, whatever that may be... you want to be president, make sure your first lady is media proof; you wanna be a doctor, you cant date a meth-head; you wanna be a weed connoisseur- your partner better too (hey, some have goals that differ from the norm lol); you want a faithful man- your partner cant have prostitutes on speed dial

STOP SETTLING FOLKS

so i'm going to start the movement with me... all you toxic mfs need to KIM.... i'm on to bigger and better, because i'm a movement by myself, and if i'm going to upgrade you- you better be able to do the same for me

sup-sup-SUPERHEAD!

yes bitches, shes back... and since i just wasted 10 minutes of my life that i will never get back on this chick, whats 5 more to assist ya'll in wasting your 10 minutes....

so, thanks to my favorite blog, www.ybf.blogspot.com (check it out, chica is hilarious), i stumbled upon this ho's website... wait, i forgot, i'm trying not to refer to fellow sistas as ho's... so the original black girl lost (OBGL) is back in effect... posting her video diaries.. i didn't bother looking at the rest of the site- the videos provided enough hilarity, i don't think i could take viewing this chick taking herself any more seriously than she already is...

anyway, the OBGL got footage of the "original king of r&b" BOBB-BBYY [/whitney screech] sleepin on her mutha fuckin couch, snoring in all his glory, booger in the nose and all. due to my personal relationship with niggas sleepin on my microfiber, i found his extremely amusing...
what else?
OH OH OH ... this chick has a publishing house now! congrats ho, i mean OBGL. sad part is i thought about sending her something for about .012 seconds, under the thought that i would get through to her much quicker than a large house, until i realized that i want good reviews, not a warning from the CDC about a possibility of contracting chlamydia from the purchase of my book.. ah well.... guess i gotta keep doubleday on speed dial lol

and AND... her own line of cars.. the vixen collection...the rover was actually pretty hot and i would drive it proudly, but the blatant showing of the vicki secret bad in the backseat multiple times, was just too funny for me not to mention. we know you get paid off suckin dick- we know you had mr marcus about to pop a vien in his head... but i'm sayin- can we try to stay legitimate? lol

yeah, i know this sounds a little hater-ish, but honestly its not. i cant agree with her methods- but OBGL got the attention and fame she wanted. any means necessary i guess. but i haven't seen a site that contained more unintentional hilarity in a long time.your welcome for the boost in hits, OBGL!!!

http://karrine.com/home2007.html

good night honeys!